Rev it up
Inhale. Exhale. You do both
all day long without even thinking about it. But did you know that
simply paying attention to how you breathe between the sheets could be
the difference between so-so and sensational sex? Give these Tantric
sex–inspired breathing techniques a spin to feel more tuned in—and
turned on—when it counts.
Slow it down
Most women breathe rapidly and shallowly during love-making, and then
hold their breath during an orgasm. “All of this occurs automatically,
without your even thinking about it,” says Barbara Bartlik, MD, a
psychiatrist and sex therapist in New York City. “To increase the
intensity of your orgasm, deliberately take slow, deep breaths as you
feel yourself becoming more and more aroused. By slowing everything
down, you will delay your orgasm and build the pleasurable tension.” You
can do this over and over again, until you finally let yourself go.
Feel it where it counts
Want to get revved up before foreplay? Try this solo technique to get
in the mood: Lie on your back with your hand on your abdomen while
taking deep breaths through your nostrils. (You should feel your hand
rise as you bring air into your belly and fall as
you exhale.) When you’re totally relaxed, start to imagine that with
each inhale you’re drawing the breath down into your genitals, awakening
the area and infusing it with energy. “This type of deep breathing will
actually increase the flow of blood to your genitals, intensifying your
state of arousal and pleasure,” Dr. Bartlik says.
Breathe together
Inhaling and exhaling in sync with your partner is a simple yet
powerful technique for increasing your emotional connection—and it can
even lead to simultaneous orgasms, says Sayaka Adachi, a clinical
sexologist and orgasm coach in San Diego.
Try tandem breathing for five minutes before, during, or after sex. You may feel silly at first—and laughing is OK—but stay with it:
Try tandem breathing for five minutes before, during, or after sex. You may feel silly at first—and laughing is OK—but stay with it:
Breathe together: the technique
Here’s how to do it: Lie in bed facing each other and look into each
other’s eyes. As you do this, become aware of your breath. Then, notice
his breath. Now, try to synchronize your breathing so that the two of
you are inhaling and exhaling together. This will be easier if you start
by breathing more deeply than normal, so that he can see, hear, and
feel your breaths. Have him do the same for you. Once you’re breathing
as one, imagine yourselves melting into each other, not knowing where
one of you ends and the other begins. “As you get more in tune with each
other’s breath,” Adachi says, “you’ll actually feel each other’s
arousal, creating a deeper physical and emotional connection.”
Circle your breaths
Does your guy sometimes finish before you’ve even gotten started?
“Circular breathing can help slow down your partner’s sexual energy and
speed up yours, putting you on a much more even playing field,” Adachi
says.
Circle your breaths: the technique
To begin, sit straddling your partner’s lap, and gaze into each
other’s eyes. As he breathes out, you breathe in. Then, when you exhale,
he inhales. Continue doing this for about 10 breaths or so, until it
starts to feel natural. Next, as you breathe in, imagine energy from
your partner entering you with your breath. (It may sound kind of kooky,
we know. But stay with us here!) Then, draw that energy to your
down-there zone and, as you exhale, imagine breathing out from your
erogenous zone into your partner’s. As your partner breathes in, he
should imagine the energy moving from your erogenous zone into his and
draw that energy up through his body, breathing it back into your body
to complete the circle.
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